A Letter to my Sons

Boys,

I’ve been pondering how to write this letter for a while. My conundrum is that I’m your mother, and I’m not the one to teach you about life and girls, that’s your father’s job. But I do want to throw in some words for you. I apologize that this is probably the only letter you’ll get from me, as your sister will probably get a stack. It doesn’t mean I care any less for you, loves.

Most mothers bug their sons to hurry up and get married. I don’t want that for you. Don’t feel pressured to get married and have kids, ever, and certainly not from me. You will never get the “When are you settling down?” question. The way things are these days, you certainly can’t afford to just jump in on a whim. Take your time. Your father will tell you more about this, and probably give you some books to read as homework, too.

This is supposing that one or both of you don’t decide to become priests, which I would be very proud of. The Church and the world needs more good priests. But perhaps that’s a subject for a different time.

You’re 9 months old right now, as I’m writing this. I’m so excited to see what kind of men you turn into. I can already see your personalities. D, you are my adventurous one. I’ve already caught you climbing onto the tallest thing you could find, and you’re not even walking on your own yet. You often find ways to get stuck in places you’re exploring. You’re outspoken, even without words. You make yourself the center of attention. Your dimples are going to kill the ladies, honey.

A, you’re very much like your father. A little version of M, down to the last detail. You’re the sensitive quiet one, the contemplater. You don’t push the boundaries like your brother, but wait until you’re certain of the results. When you fall down, you hesitate to do the activity that made you fall again. You wait until you’re ready, testing your capabilities every now and then, cautiously. You have a killer little smile that brightens your entire face. You’re a genuinely happy little kid, and I hope to help you cultivate that into a lifelong condition.

I don’t expect both of you to go to college, but I do expect you to get an education in a marketable skill, whether it’s as a degree at a college, an apprenticeship, a trade school, etc. I know one or both of you might be the artsy type (and I suspect you might, you have creativeness on both sides)… I would highly recommend that you treat your creative passion as your secondary job. By all means, if you draw or paint or play music or write, do it. Keep doing it, never stop. But take it from one who knows, a college education in those things is a waste of money and time. You need a primary money maker to support those creative endeavors. Colleges advertise art degrees because it makes them money, not because they are good career paths. Getting an education in liberal arts then hoping for wild success as an artist is a lot like hoping you’ll get into the NHL with no backup plan. You’ve got to be the best, and if you aren’t, you’ve put all your eggs in one basket. Your next stop is as a barista at Starbucks.

Maybe you aren’t the artsy type though. Either way, you should go for an education that will support you and a family, if you so wish it. Something with job security. Because I love you both, but you’re not moving back in after you leave. People will always need plumbers or electricians or carpenters or engineers or doctors or nurses or any number of things. Consider these things when you’re choosing your path. But whatever you decide, I’ll support you the best I can, while giving you what advice I can. And loves… I wish we could pay for all three of your post-high school educations, but unfortunately that’s not looking likely. We’ll help where we can, but it’ll be mostly your responsibility, which is why you should try to get as much for your money as possible.

I love you both dearly, my little wolf pups. I hope we’ve raised you well to this point. We’re here for you, always.

Sincerely,
Mom