Mortality Musings

Holy hell, this thread over on the MMSL forums hit me right in gut. Same age, same number of kids, married almost the same amount of time, red pill for a relatively short period of time, husband dies unexpectedly in his sleep. My heart is absolutely broken for her and her kids.

Part of the red pill for ladies is knowing that the SMV of a 30-something mother-of-three is pretty low. If I ever lost him, not only would I lose my companion, my love, my muse, my Captain… I’m pretty sure I’d be doomed to relationship solitude for the rest of my life. And even if I found myself falling for someone else, I’d probably feel so guilty about it I’d destroy it.

He doesn’t realize how much I worry about him sometimes. If I let my mind wander, boy does it go dark places. This scenario is my absolute worst fear, that he die in his sleep unexpectedly. If I wake up and he’s not snoring (he usually is), I watch him until I can see that he’s breathing. What an absurd thing to do. But I do, because I’m a worrier.

I start thinking of what I’d do. We have life insurance, but I worry that it’s not enough. I wonder where I’d go, because there’s no way I’d ever make enough money at a job to put 3 kids in daycare. Would I have to move in with my mom? How the hell would I even function? How could I sleep without his arm to touch, eat with the empty chair?

How would I deal with knowing that our marriage was shit for way longer than it was happy? What if we fought before it happened?

Someone needs to invent a way to hug through the Internet dammit. Because I need to hug this woman.

All our little crap problems are so tiny comparatively. Nothing like mortality to kick you in the face with some perspective.

12 comments on “Mortality Musings

  1. Man that’s terrible. It certainly puts things in perspective for me, based on what happened yesterday.

  2. Her story is so sad, I can’t stop thinking about her either. My worst fear too, only a car crash on the way home from work like my father. I often expend to much energy thinking of various scenarios; would I move? where would I work? what would I do about the children? how could I live without sex? (though I get a twinge of guilt at the last question but it’s still there) and there is so much he does that I know nothing about; car maintenance, home repairs, even if we made it financially there is just so much he handles I wouldn’t even no where to start. Sometimes I remember to pray, “thank you for my husband, bring him home to me.” I always breathe a sigh of relief when I see him pull in the driveway, I really, really need him.

  3. “How would I deal with knowing that our marriage was shit for way longer than it was happy?”

    Lots of people never dig their way out of the shit. You pulled it out. That counts for a lot.

  4. Sad story.

    I’m sure you understand that my occupation has led me to a great understanding of Death. I know her, and I’ve seen her first hand.

    She’s beautiful. But there’s no stopping her. One thing I’ve learned regarding Death-

    When it’s your time, it’s your time.

  5. He needs 10x his income in term life insurance. Period. That way you and the kids can continue with your life should the worst happen. You can get a half-mil in life insurance for the cost of a couple of pizzas each month. Check out zander.com for a bazillion quotes. They won’t spam you or anything I promise.

  6. So sorry to hear. I could only hope that he had enough insurance so that she would no experience financial difficulties.

    @Rapunzel, I think that an event like this should make you want to learn about some of the stuff that your husband handles.

  7. [...] — Mortality Musings, The Red Pill for WomenPretty touching post. I used to be occasionally hit by moments of fearing my [...]

  8. There are 30-something mothers-of-three and there are 30-something mothers-of-three. Not sure about SMV, but I’m sure a widow’s MMV would be considerably higher than that of a divorcĂ©e. In fact, to me (30-something never married guy), a 30-something widow with three kids would have a fairly high MMV, period. A widow has succeeded at “till death do us part”. I doubt more than 5% of 30-something singles can say that.

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