Man, I dunno.
I have a bad habit of procrastination, and ignoring things I don’t want to deal with. Right now my RPW inbox is at 100 emails unread. I haven’t looked at other blogs in a while. I’ve ignored a lot of my personal inbox too. I’ve been a hermit. I haven’t been writing here. About the only thing I’ve been participating in online is the MMSL forum, and even then it’s a sentance here and there as encouragement to others. Nothing about my stuff.
Captain M and I are up and down, but we had a big down recently. I’m hoping that we’ve reached a turning point, but time will tell with that. I badly want to write about it… but I have a strong sense of loyalty toward Captain M, and I don’t want to embarrass him or talk bad about him in any way. Our current problems are also my fault, to be sure, but it’s hard to discuss one without the other, which leaves me in a quandry. I also feel like a bit of a faker, like I have some weird obligation to be perfect, but I totally suck at this.
We went on “vacation” last weekend… lol, not really. Any trip that is 7+hours with three kids is no vacation. But I did get to see some family and celebrate a sibling’s major milestone, so it was at least enjoyable in that regard. I ate my weight in dry-rub pork ribs the last night we were there, and gained 5 pounds. The van died an hour from home on the way back, thankfully after it stopped raining, but unfortunately it was 10pm. It was quite an ordeal getting back. (AAA is useless, btw.) Thankfully it was covered under warranty, and fixed quickly, but not before some asshole tried to rip us off by charging $700 more than it actually cost. Sometimes the world reenforces my pessimism. The Captain had it handled.
I’ve been fiddling around with a MAP post. I’ve been thinking of what my reds, yellows, and greens are, and trying to figure out what to do about them. It’s a work in progress, and I’ll post the reds next week.
But I’m doing ok, really… just trying to stay sane. Being an introvert. Making things.