After reading the Mindful Attracton Plan a couple of times, it’s time that I write out what I need to change about myself. There’s probably more, but these are the things I could identify.
Stop Eating Sugar – I do have a built in cheat day to my diet, and it was going well for a while… But then it turned into a cheat weekend, every weekend. I’ve started reeling it in.
Stop Buying Junk – I’m an impulse buyer, though lately it’s been for things that are actually useful…. Like that cute sun dress that’s on clearance for $5. And that cute lipstick color that I don’t have. And… Ok, no really. Stop it. I’m impulsive. Impulsivity is also why I have the problem with sugar.
Stop Displaying Low Value (Stop Being a Grump) – I’ve been downright awful to live with. I’m deep in a funk, and I know the situation isn’t going to get better anytime soon, so it’s hard to be positive. One of the reasons that I haven’t been posting much lately. At least it’s a different flavor though…. I have a wicked temper that I’ve gotten control of a lot in the last few years. Now I just sort of feel like “what’s the point?” about a lot of things. Might also be part of Medical.
Medical – Stop Being Lazy – I’ve always had an incredibly low energy level. I had some bursts in the year since the boys were born, but really, I’d like nothing more than to lay on the coach and doze all day. It takes me a long time to get going in the morning. I’ve been combating that a bit by doing my workouts in the morning, so far so good this week. I had to institute “quiet room time” with our girl, because she hasn’t napped since she was a year old. She’s not adjusted to this yet, so it’s a bit of a struggle.
I’ve been researching Adrenal Fatigue, and a lot of those symptoms fit me to a T. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t want to just SLEEP all the time. When I was in high school, I could sleep 14 hours at a time. I thought all teenagers slept till 3pm.
When I was in the Army, I blamed it on early rising and over-exercising. I skipped breakfast and lunch to nap, and ate quickly during work breaks. I’d often go to sleep at 7-8pm after dinner.
After the Army, I blamed it on college. Classes are hard!
After college, I blamed it on work. Work is stressful!
After work, I blamed it on the kids. Kids are tiring! Ok, they are, but really, I should have more energy than this.
I’ve got to get this figured out. I can’t function with the brain fog. Another thing to note, possibly related to the Adrenal Fatigue question, is that my resting heart rate is abnormally high. My resting heart rate is between 80-90bpm. Only one doc has ever showed concern about it, and they ordered a thyroid test, declared me “normal”, then nothing else. I’m pressing this at my next appointment.
Speaking of my next appointment, I’m switching to a copper IUD so I can get off the hormonal birth control. After a few months, I’m getting a full hormonal panel to see where things are. I’ve asked Captain M to do the same, just so we can have a baseline for ourselves. We’re not getting any younger.
Stop Fighting Dirty – I should have been on the debate team when I was in high school. Probably should have been a politician. I can be very persuasive… Even when I know I’m dead wrong. And when my debate skills fail me, I pull out whatever I can to make myself right.
Stop Fake Relaxation – I read crap. Usually forums, twitter, Facebook, blogs…. I need to get my face out of my iPad. I don’t think I know how to relax without it, though crafting is helping that a little.
Stop People Pleasing – I’m a Yes Girl. I need to start saying no to things I know I can’t do.
Stop Repressing Good Emotions – I’ve mentioned this previously. I feel like I was making headway with this for a little while, but lately I’ve fallen right back into the pit. Make an effort to smile more, to tell Captain M when I’m happy.
To be continued with Yellows.